Helping men be gentlemen, from courting to death do you part!
We suggest tips on dating and engagement. If you have any suggestions or advice please email us at BrosInTheKnow@gmail.com and pass on your success for the success of other men to follow!
By Jenna Stone
When it comes to flirting, men have a lot to learn. When it comes to flirting, some of the rules are the same for men as for women. Others, we've come to understand, are different.
We consulted David Wygant, a Los Angeles based dating coach, and Arthur Malov, senior dating coach at NewYorkDatingCoach.com to find out what some of these differences are.
We found out what guys can do to up their flirting game and we found out some of the mistakes they commonly make.
Here are some flirting tips, specifically for men, according to these two experts.
{{{David Wygant, offers a good way to get the ball rolling. 'Give a real compliment,' he says. 'Something that will inspire her to tell a story, like 'That's a great bracelet' or 'those shoes are definitely you.'' Something, says Wygant, 'that will hopefully get her talking [like about shoes or bracelets] and show that you're an observant guy. Say everything with eye contact and a smile.'(Credit:© Andy Dean - Fotolia.com) }}}
{{{Don't be afraid to approach, says Wygant. If you're in a gym, 'Comment on her form.' In a restaurant, ask about what she's eating. Ask questions. 'You can be on a subway and ask, 'If you didn't have to go to work today and this subway could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?'
Sound odd? Think a woman might shrink from such an approach? Wygant assures us this is not the case. 'If you approach with your shoulders slumped and mumble your words, of course she's going to run. But if you make direct eye contact, and own your words, you'll get a response. Women run from scared energy?
'In a grocery store, comment on the food in her cart. At a gas station, ask about her car. Say 'I've always wanted to drive one of those. How do you like it?'' (Credit:© Arne9001 | Dreamstime.com ) }}}
{{{Malov adds that closing should be quick and – here's the magic word again – confident.
'Don't take too long,' he says. And whatever you do, don't take an email address. 'Don't get an email. Don't add them on Facebook. Get a phone number. If she's single and you've had a good conversation, she should want to hang out. Don't be coy. It's weird when somebody's coy.
'We've found through our clients that two thirds of the time, getting an email is not going to lead to a date.'
After that, of course, don't chicken out of calling.
Good luck. And happy flirting! (Credit:© Ragsac19 | Dreamstime.com ) }}}
{{{Arthur Malov says confidence is key. 'Women want a cool guy. He's strong and confident. He's not afraid to take risks. Women expect the guy to lead.'
If your immediate reaction to this is to bristle at the chauvinistic implications (particularly if you're a woman), Malov insists, 'Who's going to approach? Who's going to ask for a number? It's not usually going to be the girl.'
So, says Malov, 'Don't doubt yourself. If you say you don't like apples and she says she does like apples, don't backpedal and decide you like apples.' Men who lack confidence often do this sort of thing and it's not very attractive. (Credit:© Christi Tolbert | Dreamstime.com )}}}
{{{Right. But if you're not confident by nature, how do you become a confident individual?
'It's not as hard as people make it out to be,' says Malov. 'Do an activity you normally don't do. Something that's going to take you out of your comfort zone. If you're not getting any dates, don't focus on the dates. Go take an improvisation class. The whole point of improv class is to get you out of your comfort zone. Go to yoga. Go rock climbing. Confidence comes from experience. If you're sitting at home playing video games, you're not doing anything to help yourself.' (Credit:© .shock - Fotolia.com) }}}
{{{Bring a wingman. Women travel in packs, says Malov. You need a buddy so that, while you're talking to the woman you're interested in, he can talk to her friends.
'Build up your wingman and say good things about him. Never put him down. It's amazing but most guys who are trying to get the attention of a woman will put their friends down or tease them. They don't realize how counterproductive this is. They think it makes them look cool but you don't look cool.'
Also, your wingman will be there to talk you up too. (Credit:© Kzenon - Fotolia.com) }}}
{{{What to talk about? Malov says, 'Talk about things you're passionate about. If you have a passion for travel, talk about travel. If you have a passion for music, talk about music. Don't ask 'What kind of music do you like?' Don't say that. Say, 'Have you heard this new album that just came out?' Be specific. Don't say 'What do you do for fun?' It's so generic and shows you have no imagination. Talk about what you do for fun and see how she responds.' (Credit:© pressmaster - Fotolia.com) }}}
{{{Listen, listen, listen, says Wygant. 'If you don't listen you can't flirt. You just sound like a robot. Too many people just talk at you.
'Then, if you want to ask someone out, ask them based on something you've spoken about with them. Say, 'It was great talking to you about __________. Give me your number. Let's go to that coffee shop or work out together or test drive a car.' Recap where you're at.'(Credit:© Eastwest Imaging | Dreamstime.com )}}}
{{{Malov adds that closing should be quick and – here's the magic word again – confident.
'Don't take too long,' he says. And whatever you do, don't take an email address. 'Don't get an email. Don't add them on Facebook. Get a phone number. If she's single and you've had a good conversation, she should want to hang out. Don't be coy. It's weird when somebody's coy.
'We've found through our clients that two thirds of the time, getting an email is not going to lead to a date.'
After that, of course, don't chicken out of calling.
Good luck. And happy flirting! (Credit:© Ragsac19 | Dreamstime.com ) }}}